You may be wondering… what does it mean to romanticize your life?
I am so glad you asked! I love to describe this as the process of intentionally finding beauty in the mundane. Finding and truly savoring the magic in the ordinary. It is an invitation to reconsider the way we go about our days and shift from moving and existing from a space of autopilot, to a space of fully observing, feeling, listening, and experiencing life with a little bit more gentleness. It is an invitation to slow down and rejoice in the texture of our days.
You are probably familiar with the social media trend “Main Character Energy,” but for those of you who are not, it is all about seeing and presenting yourself as the star of your own life. Quite literally, as if you are living inside a movie: YOUR movie. Listen, I am not one to glorify trends, but this one has something to it that I am genuinely inspired by. This trend invites you to embody self confidence and intentionality in a way that invites play and having fun with it! This idea of being the main character of your life, allows for the possibility of changing your narrative (that non-stop voice that goes on and on, every minute of every day!), and it invites you to own your story, to assert your needs and make decisions that inspire you - the star of your movie.
Now, how does all of this relate to mental health? I promise you this goes beyond aesthetics - it is psychological wellness into action. Have you ever had a moment where you were laughing with your friends, and you thought to yourself “I am so lucky.” Or have you ever turned your head around, only to find an old couple holding hands and smiling as they walked in the streets? That feeling, that joy that travels through your entire being, is what romanticizing the mundane helps you feel more of. The best part? It is an invitation to feel this way doing things you probably are already doing!
Now, the psychology behind this concept:
Shifting the way we interpret events (from “ordinary” to “sacred,” for example), can improve mood and resilience. Let’s bring the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to this idea: Thoughts → Feelings → Behaviors → Thoughts... What we think generates a feeling, and that feeling impacts or motivates how we behave, or the other way around: A behavior can impact how we feel, and that feeling will impact our mental narrative. If we keep this formula in mind, turning your daily habit of making your morning coffee into an intentional ritual, could make you feel more relaxed and inspired as you start your day, which could result in you having positive thoughts about yourself and the day ahead. From this mindset, you might choose to engage in behaviors that align with those feelings and thoughts. And just like that: the magic of making the ordinary, sacred. Do you see where I am going with this now?
Additionally, practicing intentionality is the same as practicing mindfulness. When you are aware of what you are doing, feeling, listening to, smelling, etc.. you are slowing down your body and tapping into that parasympathetic nervous system. This is where the magic of self-regulation makes its way in. Yes, I am suggesting that becoming the main character of your life, might help you reduce those symptoms of anxiety by rooting those anxious thoughts in present-moment beauty. You are also building self esteem by cultivating a sense of deserving beautiful things, moments of texture and inspiration. It is the beginning of re-creating the relationship you have with yourself.
So, How to romanticize your life? - Therapeutically speaking.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Light a candle and journal like it is your memoir, like it is a sacred ritual.
- Make your morning coffee a “mini ceremony” and drink it by the window, savoring each sip like it is a scene from a movie.
- Take a “solo date” to the park, a museum, or a café and wear your favorite outfit; take pictures of yourself or the beautiful things that catch your eye.
- Walk with music and imagine you are in a movie.
- Create a gratitude photo album on your phone.
- Spray your favorite perfume like its scent holds the magic to attract everything you want in your life.
- Make your bed like it’s a hotel bed: fresh sheets, fluff pillows, and a little spritz of essential oils.
- Romanticize your to-do lists and call it “Today’s Aventures”
- Put on a cute outfit, even if you are staying home.
- Watch the sunrise or the sunset, no phone - just presence.
- Explore your city like a tourist, new cafés, bookstores or museums!
- Set the table for yourself, even if you are eating alone.
- Enjoy dessert like it is sacred - take your time.
- End the day with a Thank You to yourself for showing up.
Now, be mindful of romanticizing your life as a way to avoid or escape reality. Even when life is a little hard, you can romanticize it with your feelings, not in spite of them. This is a practice that compliments deeper work profoundly and beautifully, yet it is not a by-pass. Remember that therapy is one of the most powerful ways to rewrite your story. If you are interested in becoming the author - and main character - of a life full of texture and pockets of joy, we’ve got you!
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah