Preview line: Has shadow work come across your radar recently, and have you wondered what it actually is or how it could be relevant to your life?
Shadow work is having a bit of a moment right now. A cursory glance over Google search results for the term will reveal article after current article on what shadow work is, how to do it, and where to buy your shadow work journal. Has shadow work come across your radar recently? And have you wondered what it actually is or how it could be relevant to your life? If so, read on as this post will explore the impact that Jungian Shadow Work can have on one of the most important aspects of life—our relationships.
The term shadow work was originally coined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist whose work was contemporary in the first half of the 20th century. (It was from his work that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the infamous MBTI, was created.) Originally a protégé of Freud, Jung ultimately split from his origins as a psychoanalyst to establish a distinct form of psychotherapy known as analytical psychology. Like Freud, Jung was interested in the unconscious parts of the human mind and the development of the personality. Jung conceptualized his view of the psyche using personified structures known as archetypes. Some of these archetypes include:
1.) The ego—the executive part of our personality with strong ties to our experience of the physical body,
2.) The persona—who we portray ourselves to be to the external world, any masks we may wear at work or home,
3.) The Self—the sum total of the psyche, essentially our holistic sense of self that is driven towards integration, wholeness, and growth, and
4.) The shadow—the things about ourselves, known or unknown to us, that we have rejected or suppressed which live in our internal world.
Everyone has a shadow. And although the name of this internal psychic structure sounds dark, mysterious, or even corrupt, our shadow is a vital part of who we authentically are. Through the integration of the less savory parts of ourselves, we become more powerful and more whole—more of who we are. Jungian Shadow Work reminds us that these traits are not inherently bad but instead are essential to achieving balance and self-mastery.
Your shadow often contains traits opposite to your persona. For example, do you portray yourself as (or perhaps believe yourself to be) someone who is selfless and generous, and are you deeply triggered by others when they behave in ways that are selfish or greedy? Then pay attention to this triggered feeling. In shadow work, your triggers are invitations to closely examine parts of yourself that have been banished from your awareness. You can think of triggers as tugs on your ego, and when you examine them you will find an invisible string that, when followed to its origin, will lead you to the darker parts of yourself. At the other end of this string are precisely the things that you wish to avoid about yourself—perhaps your own greed, your own selfishness.
Because you are the foundation of all your relationships with others, increasing self-knowledge is always going to improve your ability to build solid relationships. But Jungian Shadow Work is a particularly potent way to better know yourself and, therefore, a particularly potent way of better-knowing others. The thing about intimate relationships is that they will trigger you. And the more intimate the relationship, the more intense and frequent the triggers.
Undertaking shadow work, either individually or within a relationship, is no small feat and not necessarily appropriate for everyone. If you are still actively working through unresolved trauma or significant mental illness, consistently struggling with self-regulation, are in an abusive relationship, or your basic physiological needs are unmet—it may not be time to delve into shadow work. Shadow work is a kind of self-actualization that exists at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.No matter your entry point into this kind of work, increasing your ability to accept yourself increases your ability to accept others. And when you can more clearly see yourself without running away, you can offer this same gift to the people you love. Jungian Shadow Work serves as a transformative tool for deeper self-awareness, enriching not just personal growth but also the quality of your relationships.