Imagine this: you and your partner have not had a heated argument in months; every disagreement is a conversation with a lot of love, understanding, listening, and humor. Not only is your relationship not a stressor, but it is an essential support in your life that allows you to be resilient against life's other stressors. Couples face various challenges, especially in fast-paced Brooklyn, New York. You may be experiencing career stress, becoming a parent, or accepting infertility. These challenges are typical and can lead to much stress for couples. Effective couples therapy in Brooklyn can help strengthen your connection in these times of uncertainty and allow your relationship not just to survive but flourish.
Common Relationship Challenges Couples in Brooklyn Face in Therapy
Couples therapy in Brooklyn is helpful for several issues couples face.
- Communication breakdowns: You and your partner are trying to speak and hear each other, but when you try, it leads to more arguments, hurt, and misunderstanding. Not only are you missing what your partner is saying, but you are also feeling triggered, angry, and reacting to what they say. A moment of connection has now lent itself to rupture.
- Trust issues and infidelity: Broken trust in its most minor forms looks like white lies and inconsistency, and in its biggest betrayals, it can be cheating and gaslighting. According to Gottman, a leading psychologist in couples therapy, trust is one of the necessary pillars of any relationship. Because you both have broken trust, it does not mean you cannot rebuild.
- Differences in values, goals, or lifestyles: Maybe you both fell in love because opposites attract, and maybe you have grown into different people after years of being together- you have different values, goals, and ways of living. This can leave you feeling like the connection with your partner is so far away.
- Managing stress, career, and family dynamics: You are both highly driven individuals with your own lives, which means you are both navigating your stressors. With burnout and individual family difficulties, relationships can end up secondary to the things in life that require the most of our attention.
- Intimacy and emotional disconnection: Maybe you are struggling with physical and emotional intimacy. In the early days of a relationship, it can feel like gooey words of affirmation and exciting intimate sex are at the forefront of your connection. As you both begin to settle into the comfort of your relationship, these fun and exciting times can feel lost in your history without any ability to get in touch with them in the present.
How Couples Therapy Can Help
While the affirmation difficulties in relationships can feel daunting and everlasting, like the end of your love, they don't have to be. Couples therapy can help in a variety of ways:
- Improving communication and understanding: A widespread activity couples do in couples therapy is learning how to listen and communicate effectively with one another. Here, clients take turns being the storyteller and listener. The storyteller tells a story while the listener. Well, listen! Then, they have the opportunity to respond, but only with questions. This allows them to focus on understanding their partner.
- Resolving conflicts healthily: When we are in conflicts, we often feel a lot of anger and can say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment. With effective couples therapy in Brooklyn, you will learn how to regulate feelings using the S.T.O.P. method. Here, couples learn in arguments to stop what they are doing, take a few deep breaths, observe what is happening in their body, and then proceed with more mindfulness and intention.
- Rebuilding trust and emotional intimacy: Rebuilding trust and emotional intimacy, especially after infidelity, can be challenging. In couples therapy, you can be honest with a trusted mediator who is there to process all the complicated emotions that may come with that for both of you. You can retell the story, apologize for things you may not have noticed in the past, and tend to some of the hurt you and your partner have been feeling.
- Strengthening problem-solving skills: Together, you will learn how to engage in conflict resolution. First, you and your partner will identify the problem you have. Maybe one of you needs to take accountability, or perhaps you realize it is no one's fault and this is due to circumstances outside of your control; you can come up with some solutions, their benefits and setbacks, and then together choose which one might be the best to move forward with.
- Creating a shared vision for the future: You and your partner may engage in a shared vision board to create a shared vision for the future. You both can discuss your goals for your relationship and find the ones you agree on. Make a collage, draw a picture, or create some visual vision board that you both can keep in sight to remember what you are doing this all for.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
Beginning couples therapy in Brooklyn, New York, can be scary. You are admitting to another person outside of your relationship that you have challenges. This definitely can feel vulnerable and bring up a lot of shame. Luckily, therapists are trained to approach your relationship with curiosity and the goal to support you. You will meet with your therapist during the initial assessment and have an intake session. Here, your therapist will ask you various questions to understand both of you, how you met, and your relationship. Some therapists may do this with you both together or do this and see you both independently within the same session. Therapists will often be the guide while you both act as the leader, expressing what you want to share and need help with. There are a variety of different paradigms therapists use to assist couples, ranging from giving couples homework and directing them in skills-based practices or approaching each session in a free-form way where they share their observations and provide clients opportunities to self-reflect and adjust their behavior to be more in line with their emotional world at the moment. Therapists are not there to tell you to break up, stay together, or pick favorites; they are here to be a neutral guide and assist you as a couple. These 55-minute sessions can range from weekly to monthly, depending on your and your therapist's agreement and needs.
Why Choose Professional Couples Therapy in Brooklyn, NY?
Choosing professional Couples Therapy in Brooklyn, NY, is an easy choice. First, you can get access to experienced and licensed therapists in your cozy home borough, both in person and online, on your schedule. While a self-help book and advice from friends can act as great support, a licensed professional gives you an experiential opportunity to make drastic and rapid changes in how you and your partner relate to each other.
Especially in a place like Brooklyn, NY, with a vast LGBTQ+ and BIPOC population, therapists are trained and come from a variety of backgrounds that allow them to meet you with affirming and inclusive therapy. More than ever, you now have the opportunity to pick a therapist with a shared experience who can understand you in various ways just from your similarities. You don't always have to be the teacher or advocate anymore for your own oppressed experiences.
Get Expert Guidance with Humantold
Humantold has a variety of professional couples therapists located in Brooklyn, NY. They believe that couples therapy does not have to be a last-ditch effort to save a relationship that feels minutes away from ending but to use it as a proactive tool to strengthen what excellent skill you and your partner already share. Humantold has many experienced therapists who specialize in relationship counseling. On our website, you will find that our therapists are also versed in so many unique couple-related challenges, like opening up your relationship for the first time, weaponized incompetence in relationships, or navigating how infertility has affected your relationship. Aside from being able to meet with all of our therapists virtually, we are also conveniently located in Brooklyn at 300 Cadman Plaza West One Pierrepont Plaza Brooklyn, NY 11201. You can start booking a consultation with us by calling (212) 828-7473 and getting matched with your perfect therapist.