With the rise of social media, becoming an influencer has become increasingly accessible and tempting. Many have experienced the rise to fame through relatable content or an online persona, and this often comes with financial rewards and external validation. But while an online presence can bring admiration, it also invites hostility. So what are the downsides of being “seen” on social media, and how can we stay grounded and protect our sense of self in this increasingly artificial environment?
Psychological Effects of Social Media
Social media platforms are created to be addictive with features such as endless scrolling, algorithmic recommendations, and push notifications, along with the rising popularity of short-form media. These platforms are designed to provide instant and often short-lived gratification, leading users to want to consume more content. This addictive loop appeals to a consumer’s self-worth through likes, shares, and comments, and can lead to feeling confused, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained. For content creators who are “seen” online, the effects may be amplified.
Posting frequently on social media can be extremely validating, especially when the content you are posting is considered authentic and relatable. You may begin gaining a following, getting more likes, and receiving positive comments, but this can also lead to a feeling of needing to perform. You might start posting what you think will perform well, check your engagement obsessively, or even start to feel anxious if something you post doesn’t get the response you had hoped for. Suddenly, you may see a switch from validation to unwarranted opinions.
Vulnerability is often misinterpreted as an open invitation to critique, judge, or “diagnose” the person behind the screen, and the anonymity of the internet provides a layer of armor, allowing people to forget (or ignore) that there is a real human on the receiving end of their comments. This behavior online can result in feelings of shame, burnout, comparison, jealousy, imposter syndrome, and a skewed sense of self-worth for the creator, whose online presence and oftentimes livelihood depends on their digital persona. These pressures may be present even if you are not the one being “seen” online. You might begin comparing yourself to the carefully curated life you are seeing online, leading to similar feelings of low self-worth and jealousy.
Social media also encourages parasocial relationships, where a follower feels a one-sided connection to an influencer, despite not having any real bond to them. While having a favorite creator online can create community and be a source of validation and belonging, it can quickly lead to unrealistic expectations and entitlement to an influencer’s time or personal information. Having a strong online following can be empowering and validating, but setting boundaries, especially with people you have no personal connection with, can be difficult.
How Therapy Can Help
Social validation increases the risk of a warped perception of self. Tracking likes, views, and comments gives users a tangible picture of what appeals to others. With this information so easily accessible, how do we know if what we are posting online is authentic to who we are and not what the internet is telling us is entertaining? Social validation and the selective success of content runs the risk of feeling the pressure to maintain a perfect persona online. So how can we separate personal expression from public performance?
Therapy can be a space where you reconnect with your sense of self outside of an environment pushing external validation. We explore the parts of you that feel authentic, what narratives you portray to others and whether they match what you feel on the inside, how to identify and live by your values, and whether the content you put out or consume comes from a place of performing for approval or connecting from a place of truth. By connecting with your identity and self, you will be able to better understand your sense of fulfillment and how social media can add to that rather than take away.
If you notice that social media is leading to the negative feelings outlined previously, therapy can help you gain the tools you need to stay grounded in an otherwise unstable environment. In a therapeutic space, you can practice identifying when you are feeling emotionally or physically drained and how to set boundaries that feel safe. This could look like limiting your time online, the type of content you consume or put out, or even just turning off push notifications. We can also explore how to identify content that leads to negative feelings of shame, comparison, frustration, or symptoms of anxiety such as overthinking and rumination. By understanding your stressors, we can work to build coping strategies to better navigate them.
Despite the challenges it brings, social media can still be a meaningful source of joy, creativity, and connection, especially for those who haven’t always felt seen in traditional spaces. When you’re mindful of how it affects your thoughts, emotions, and sense of self, you can begin to engage with it in ways that support your well-being instead of undermining it. You don’t have to disconnect entirely to protect your peace, but you do deserve to feel grounded, whole, and true to yourself, both online and off.