Around this time of the year we constantly hear the saying “The holidays are here, bringing good cheer!” The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for many, it can also be a season filled with heightened anxiety, stress, and emotional challenges. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed rather than festive during the holidays, you’re not alone. It is common to experience different forms of anxiety during the holiday season. According to the American Psychological Association, 41% of U.S. adults reported increased stress during the holidays compared to other times of the year (source). Identifying these common stressors and exploring strategies to manage them can result in a less stressful holiday experience.
1. Social Anxiety at Gatherings
From office parties to family dinners, holiday events can be daunting for those who experience social anxiety. The pressure to engage in small talk, navigate complex family dynamics, or meet new people can leave you feeling drained or apprehensive. Setting realistic expectations can help in accepting that it’s okay not to be the life of the party. Try focusing on meaningful interactions rather than trying to socialize with everyone. If you become overwhelmed with anxiety during social gatherings, deep breathing or grounding exercises can help you manage anxiety in the moment. Lastly, give yourself permission to set boundaries. Identify and be honest about your limits: “I’d love to join for a bit, but I might leave early if I need some downtime.”
2. Financial Stress
Gift-giving, travel expenses, and hosting duties can quickly add up, leading to financial strain. The pressure to meet societal or familial expectations can increase feelings of stress and guilt. Creating a holiday budget can help you outline what you can comfortably spend and stick to it. Prioritize meaningful gifts or experiences over extravagant purchases. Meaningful gifts can include handmade gifts, baked goods, or thoughtful cards can be more personal and budget-friendly than expensive items. You can practice your boundary setting by advocating for cost-conscious gift traditions: “How about we each exchange one meaningful item instead of several gifts?”
3. Loneliness During the Holidays
While the holidays are often associated with togetherness, they can be a stark reminder of loss, estrangement, or lack of connection for some. Social media’s curated snapshots of happiness can amplify feelings of isolation. Strategies for managing loneliness include seeking connection and creating your own traditions. Reach out to friends, neighbors, or community groups. Volunteering can also foster a sense of purpose and belonging. If you’re spending the holidays alone, use the opportunity to design a day that brings you joy—whether that’s cooking your favorite meal, watching your favorite movies, or taking a peaceful walk. Be honest with yourself about your feelings and needs: “I’m feeling a bit isolated, and I’d like to spend time with others. Can we meet up?” Decline invitations that feel more obligatory than meaningful: “I appreciate the invite, but I think I’ll stay in and recharge this time.”
4. Perfectionism in Holiday Planning
Whether it’s hosting the perfect dinner, curating Instagram-worthy decorations, or finding the ideal gifts, perfectionism can turn the joy of planning into a relentless pursuit of unattainable standards. Embracing imperfection can remove the pressure of creating a perfect holiday season. Remember that the spirit of the holidays is about connection, not perfection. Mistakes and mishaps often become cherished memories. Remind yourself that good enough is often better than perfect. Celebrate your efforts rather than criticizing your perceived shortcomings. Sharing the load with family and friends allows space for more enjoyment during the holidays than stress.
Asking for help doesn’t diminish your efforts; it enhances collaboration. Decide what truly matters to you and let go of the rest. Is it spending quality time with loved ones? Creating a cozy atmosphere? Focus on what aligns with your values. You can set boundaries by resisting overcommitting: “I’d love to help with that, but I already have a lot on my plate. Can we find someone else to assist?”
Tips for Navigating Holiday Stress with Self-Compassion
The holidays can be tough, but that does not mean you have to be tough on yourself. Similar to other emotional challenges, you can practice self-compassion during the holidays. Self-compassion is giving yourself acceptance and kindness just as you would give to a friend who is dealing with stress. It is okay to not be okay. Taking care of your mind and body is essential to yourself and others. Three practices for self compassion are: acceptance, self-care, and challenging negative ruminating thoughts. Start by acknowledging your feelings without judgment—it's okay to feel stressed, tired, or even sad during the festivities. Set realistic boundaries to protect your energy, whether that means saying no to extra commitments or carving out time for rest. Engage in small acts of kindness toward yourself, such as enjoying a favorite activity or practicing mindfulness. Lastly, write down your thoughts and reframe them. For example, instead of thinking, "I always mess things up at family gatherings," reframe it as, "I’m doing my best, and one mistake doesn’t define the whole experience."
The holidays are a mixed bag of joy and challenges. By identifying common sources of stress—whether social anxiety, financial strain, perfectionism, or loneliness—you can take proactive steps to manage them. Remember, setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion are acts of strength, not selfishness. The most meaningful holiday traditions are those that honor your well-being and bring you closer to what truly matters to you. Maybe you’re feeling a bit like the Grinch this holiday season. Remember, by the end of the story, the Grinch found joy in the holidays through the power of togetherness, embracing new and old traditions, moving away from consumerism, and practicing self-compassion by accepting himself.